20090731
20090730
Thnkyoufrnds.
Make me cry, make me now! Its a stupid thing to cry over you. My friends got so demanding and i received some un-easy comments.
- "He has someone else Mel."
- "Don't you think she is better for him?"
- "Let it go Mel."
- "Fuck him for letting things go."
- "I might want to get out of your shell a bit."
- "Mel, bagi jelah, bukan laki you pun.".
- "You tngok la , let's see how far they'll go."
- "She is a kid -_-."
Some of the comments helps. But some of it, i cant really get over it, im sorry guys. i know i could be much more stronger if i face up my challenges without thinking about him. and do not stalk his MySpace.
+But guys, he said that he wasn't sure about it :( un-easy comments :
+i told you mel, its not going to be like it usually does. things goes around.
+Cari lah boyfriend dekat U. lagi handsome.
+Mel, remember, you dah tngok He's just not that into you kan? maybe macam tu la
+Apa apa pun, dia still akan contact that girl, belakang you kan? who knows syg?
Yang ni kurang sikit orang nak comment, sebab buntu dah kot, tak tau nak buat apa? Should i trust this guy, like i trusted him before?
20090726
Desperate?
Broken hearts left with open wounds
Somehow yours healed real soon
Unfortunately, I'm still here
Left with guilt, pain and fear
I'm glad that you're all right
With no more tears left to fight
But why are things still this way?
Why are there no words to say?
If we talk we fight and complain
I'm always left with nothing gained
I hurt you- then it was your turn
And like a candle I was burned
I made mistakes that I regret
Big deal, that's life, forgive-forget
With so much life I've left to live
I know I have even more to give
I'll do my best- with my head held high
To make mistakes, learn and never cry.
i never been so desperate before. this is what i feel, it took me 2 hours and tears to finish this up.
Somehow yours healed real soon
Unfortunately, I'm still here
Left with guilt, pain and fear
I'm glad that you're all right
With no more tears left to fight
But why are things still this way?
Why are there no words to say?
If we talk we fight and complain
I'm always left with nothing gained
I hurt you- then it was your turn
And like a candle I was burned
I made mistakes that I regret
Big deal, that's life, forgive-forget
With so much life I've left to live
I know I have even more to give
I'll do my best- with my head held high
To make mistakes, learn and never cry.
i never been so desperate before. this is what i feel, it took me 2 hours and tears to finish this up.
20090725
Summarized it,
Watched this documentary on HBO, the story titled "To Be Fat Like Me". Its says that, fat people use to get offended by others. the girl in the story is actually skinny, and she wants to make this mission a secret from others. her mum was skinny and beautiful but as soon as she got her second son, she wasn't aware with her diet, when Alyson, is an athlete. she was ashame of her mother eating disorder. her mum was fat, to me, its possible for adults to get fatter than when they were young.
i jotted down a few things, it says that, we shouldn't be ashamed of ourselves , why would people want us to be to? being fat is not that we have to bully ourselves, taking aweself back , when you want to do something, do it, asking a girl or a guy out, go for it, its not like we're going to die after that, try that out, it wont hurt a thing. in a matter of fact, we're getting our boost of confidence even better.im not a pro at this, but this is what i think , yea because im fat too, i can feel their feelings in the story. who are them to judge us? not to all the readers though, for those who are somehow like me :)
i want to ask, how the heck can we be confident when people cant stop making fun of us? give us time, its not a problem to you. you're not the one who gives us food or money to buy candy bars.
realise it people, its big people with a big heart. deep inside i think, fat people is sensitive, they'll show it when theres a tube of chunky monkey ice cream in front of them. truth hurts. so am i, im mad at those who called me Fat, im not fat, im just a bit bigger than you, and im more into food. you cant expect i would be skinnny in a few days, aneroxic? hmm, i did this, i sticked my finger into my throat, and starting today i became someone that is "not eating". thnks to those who made me like this, i know it sounds stupid, hmmm its been 4 days now. btw, we still can love that person even we're mad at them? and i didnt burst into tears , im comfortable now.
i jotted down a few things, it says that, we shouldn't be ashamed of ourselves , why would people want us to be to? being fat is not that we have to bully ourselves, taking aweself back , when you want to do something, do it, asking a girl or a guy out, go for it, its not like we're going to die after that, try that out, it wont hurt a thing. in a matter of fact, we're getting our boost of confidence even better.im not a pro at this, but this is what i think , yea because im fat too, i can feel their feelings in the story. who are them to judge us? not to all the readers though, for those who are somehow like me :)
i want to ask, how the heck can we be confident when people cant stop making fun of us? give us time, its not a problem to you. you're not the one who gives us food or money to buy candy bars.
realise it people, its big people with a big heart. deep inside i think, fat people is sensitive, they'll show it when theres a tube of chunky monkey ice cream in front of them. truth hurts. so am i, im mad at those who called me Fat, im not fat, im just a bit bigger than you, and im more into food. you cant expect i would be skinnny in a few days, aneroxic? hmm, i did this, i sticked my finger into my throat, and starting today i became someone that is "not eating". thnks to those who made me like this, i know it sounds stupid, hmmm its been 4 days now. btw, we still can love that person even we're mad at them? and i didnt burst into tears , im comfortable now.
20090724
Hello, this is FML.
Apa lagi yang hendak di FML kan lagi? Oh ada satu, pasal tak puas hati with this is guy. Kasi la nama dia A ok :) cantikkkkkkkk. pujaan kot? kalau bukan , tkde orang la nak dia kan? tapi ada orang kata to him "im kinda fucking love him". haha, mel nangis sebab terkejut kejap. sekejap kot? straight 40mins, semuanya berlaku dalam bilik abang, and called Nur Alia Ruzalan, dia cerita about her father, and it was fucking shocking. Kenapa hari ni semuanya macam ni? Bukan tak menerima, tapi mahu tahu punca.
Ya, mostly people akan cakap , kita nak besar-besarkan hal yang remeh, selagi tak ada solution dia, selagi tu maw bising. Saye macam tu jugak, tipulah, saye ni benda remeh temeh pun saye boleh uat gaduh, tak caye cuba tanye A. dia dalam hati mesti ckp saye ni suck and all. walaupun dia dah ada prempuan tu, saye still boleh anggap dia macam something to saye. saye tak nak tulis yang buruk buruk pasal dia. Sapik kata tak elok, nanti nampak mcm saye ni teruk. Sapik! mmg saye teruk lah! :) sapik kate, bukan dia takde, saye tak boleh hidup. betul jugak cakap dia, kat U lagi bnyk varities. tapi saye tetap mahu menjawab, saye ckp what if kalau tkde orang nak saye :|, persoalan tu kan? tapi lama lama of course ada, kalau boleh saye nak belaja jauh-jauh smpai takyah jumpa A lagi, tapi orang Islam tak elok saling benci-membenci kan. saye sedar yang hidup ni susah kalau tak pandai nak uruskan and suka cari pasal. mcm saye! :D
saye pun nak tahu punca dia je? sebab saye rapat dengan W dulu? Oh, tu dulu, skrg mana ade, dia busy and mem-busykan diri, saye pun cool jelah, saye ade kawan. kawan saye ade lah dalam 20 orang yang saye suka talk with. paling paling sekali Alia la, sbb dia suka dnga saye mencarut. * dia ajar!. second, ainaa, keemy,azim muztapha, yuseno, cha, epet and so on. Ayu pun! kalau nmpk dia online lah, saye cepat2 buzz dia dan straight foward cite kat dia! haha, ni mmg tak sabar punye case. saye pun tak tahu la saye type ape ni, tapi yang saye tahu hari ni mmg tunggang terbalik.
Ya, mostly people akan cakap , kita nak besar-besarkan hal yang remeh, selagi tak ada solution dia, selagi tu maw bising. Saye macam tu jugak, tipulah, saye ni benda remeh temeh pun saye boleh uat gaduh, tak caye cuba tanye A. dia dalam hati mesti ckp saye ni suck and all. walaupun dia dah ada prempuan tu, saye still boleh anggap dia macam something to saye. saye tak nak tulis yang buruk buruk pasal dia. Sapik kata tak elok, nanti nampak mcm saye ni teruk. Sapik! mmg saye teruk lah! :) sapik kate, bukan dia takde, saye tak boleh hidup. betul jugak cakap dia, kat U lagi bnyk varities. tapi saye tetap mahu menjawab, saye ckp what if kalau tkde orang nak saye :|, persoalan tu kan? tapi lama lama of course ada, kalau boleh saye nak belaja jauh-jauh smpai takyah jumpa A lagi, tapi orang Islam tak elok saling benci-membenci kan. saye sedar yang hidup ni susah kalau tak pandai nak uruskan and suka cari pasal. mcm saye! :D
saye pun nak tahu punca dia je? sebab saye rapat dengan W dulu? Oh, tu dulu, skrg mana ade, dia busy and mem-busykan diri, saye pun cool jelah, saye ade kawan. kawan saye ade lah dalam 20 orang yang saye suka talk with. paling paling sekali Alia la, sbb dia suka dnga saye mencarut. * dia ajar!. second, ainaa, keemy,azim muztapha, yuseno, cha, epet and so on. Ayu pun! kalau nmpk dia online lah, saye cepat2 buzz dia dan straight foward cite kat dia! haha, ni mmg tak sabar punye case. saye pun tak tahu la saye type ape ni, tapi yang saye tahu hari ni mmg tunggang terbalik.
20090723
20090722
I rindu semua ni!
God, i felt like i havent type much ay? i didnt feel like typing these couple of days. im busy with my work, homework, chores? :P haha there was no chores for me, and im soo not proud of that. i miss those days when i used to hang out and play basketball with Ira, and and peeking around guys playing with their skateboards, TOPLESS, i repeat, TOPLESS. Haha, its fun tho, but now they finished their studies here, and went, i dont know -_- i barely love looking at someone that i dont know, weird? what the heck? Ni Mell laaaaaaa =)
there are couple of things that i miss doing it :
*minum milo kat luar! :D
*comment di MYSPACE? haha
*lepak dgn bebik community. Hey, ada yang saye kamceng!
*going out with mama, mama belanja books ;( bila lagi nih?
*drawing :( hey, i dont have the chance to do this tooo!
*reading my un-read storybooks.
*make some collages, dey, this year buat satu je, ni pun untuk class ;(
*ber-gossip cite pasal boifren dengan Ira.
*ber-gossip cite pasal sape tkde dara, haha, hey, this is a true fact about our school, if you need bitches, go to this class, 5*.
*talking on the phone with Ya.
*texting Kak Shaza, she's no longer here, Toodles to UK.
*tidy up my wardrobe? haha i dont have time for this either, my clothesare SO-OFF-THE-SCENE.
*cant really do this project D:
Maybe i can collapse if i dont do these listed things.
there are couple of things that i miss doing it :
*minum milo kat luar! :D
*comment di MYSPACE? haha
*lepak dgn bebik community. Hey, ada yang saye kamceng!
*going out with mama, mama belanja books ;( bila lagi nih?
*drawing :( hey, i dont have the chance to do this tooo!
*reading my un-read storybooks.
*make some collages, dey, this year buat satu je, ni pun untuk class ;(
*ber-gossip cite pasal boifren dengan Ira.
*ber-gossip cite pasal sape tkde dara, haha, hey, this is a true fact about our school, if you need bitches, go to this class, 5*.
*talking on the phone with Ya.
*texting Kak Shaza, she's no longer here, Toodles to UK.
*tidy up my wardrobe? haha i dont have time for this either, my clothesare SO-OFF-THE-SCENE.
*cant really do this project D:
Maybe i can collapse if i dont do these listed things.
20090719
Super Boost
Something amazing happened to me on 18th July 2009, 1.15 p.m.
and it would be my 4th secret.
and it would be my 4th secret.
20090718
Ugly Betty Season 3, overall
The Season Finale of Ugly Betty Which Leads To Season 4 Story Line..
As Usual, There's No Happy Ending For Ugly Betty Which Makes Me Thinks What Happen Next Season.
The Questions Are....
*How About Betty's Love Life...??
*How She Gonna Face Matt As Her Boss....??
*Who is Actually Wilhelmina Saw in Her Apartment....?
*Who is Claire-Calvin's Child?
*How Daniel Face Molly's Death?
*What About Marc...??
*How About His Position at M.O.D.E?
*Will Wilhelmina Found Connor....? *
Will She Survived in The Company?
There's Been Rumors Betty's Braces Will Be Removed... Just Wonder How Beautiful Betty Would Look Like...
:-P
As Usual, There's No Happy Ending For Ugly Betty Which Makes Me Thinks What Happen Next Season.
The Questions Are....
*How About Betty's Love Life...??
*How She Gonna Face Matt As Her Boss....??
*Who is Actually Wilhelmina Saw in Her Apartment....?
*Who is Claire-Calvin's Child?
*How Daniel Face Molly's Death?
*What About Marc...??
*How About His Position at M.O.D.E?
*Will Wilhelmina Found Connor....? *
Will She Survived in The Company?
There's Been Rumors Betty's Braces Will Be Removed... Just Wonder How Beautiful Betty Would Look Like...
:-P
20090716
Gembira? for a while
Today at school, hey i put my happy hat on , and my laughters switched too. i said too many things, many stupid freaking things fyi. amer brought his guitar, naa? is it his? -_-"
whatever it is, i asked him to play a few songs that i like, but NONE was my favourite, he knows how play Dan Sebenarnya intro, damn it was sooo good, he makes me wanna sing, and YEt, i sang. haha beat that, i sang in front of them. well, i'm actually doing it right, Qima and Zu sang along too, but i think my voice was louder than the others, out teacher who's teaching us SIVIK,emmm, she was pissed, i can see that. haha but deal with it, this is US.
Qima bawak her HOT PINK camera, dude, that camera is definied as super interesting and cantiik. im quite jealous tho, her dad bought it in Japan. well, when that counts. okay, back to the teacher, she perli us.
Miss Pissed Off : hey, yang belakang tu dah siap ke belum? kalau tidak saya rampas guitar tu.
Ameer : Huh?
Bahri : A'ah, sivik ni masuk SPM.
US : HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.
My conversation with Ainaa.
Fat-so : Is she married?
Cine : What?
Fat-so : Is she married? I can see her wedding ring from here.
Cine : Yea, she is, she wears it HERE. *tunjuk jari yang selalunya married ppl put the ring on.
Fat-so : Mesti dia report kat Abang dia, haha, muka dia merah!
Cine : "Abang, budak budak ni mcm setan semuanye ". *hahahahhahahhaha
Fat-so : Sadly, i pity her :P
End Of Discussion.
My conversation with Syafiq.
Fat-so: Glad she's gone.
Abang Handsome : mesti dia taknak ajar kitorang dah, kesian dia.
Fat-so : Huh? kisah pulak kau? ingt tkde feelings. haha
Abang Handsome : haha, irst time aku kesian kat org pulaaaak, bagi chance laa. :P
End of Discussion
On my way home, i asked my mum whether can i see Sofi before dia pergi Practical. This is what she said.
MA : kan best kakak dpt mcm ke-ustaz-an .
Kakak : Whut? -_-
Wey, i know its a good thing, but you cant force me to do everything YOUR WAY. This is just too much for me, I cant handle it, i go straight to my room, and called Sofi and cursed, he knows how i curse and how long i curse.
whatever it is, i asked him to play a few songs that i like, but NONE was my favourite, he knows how play Dan Sebenarnya intro, damn it was sooo good, he makes me wanna sing, and YEt, i sang. haha beat that, i sang in front of them. well, i'm actually doing it right, Qima and Zu sang along too, but i think my voice was louder than the others, out teacher who's teaching us SIVIK,emmm, she was pissed, i can see that. haha but deal with it, this is US.
Qima bawak her HOT PINK camera, dude, that camera is definied as super interesting and cantiik. im quite jealous tho, her dad bought it in Japan. well, when that counts. okay, back to the teacher, she perli us.
Miss Pissed Off : hey, yang belakang tu dah siap ke belum? kalau tidak saya rampas guitar tu.
Ameer : Huh?
Bahri : A'ah, sivik ni masuk SPM.
US : HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.
My conversation with Ainaa.
Fat-so : Is she married?
Cine : What?
Fat-so : Is she married? I can see her wedding ring from here.
Cine : Yea, she is, she wears it HERE. *tunjuk jari yang selalunya married ppl put the ring on.
Fat-so : Mesti dia report kat Abang dia, haha, muka dia merah!
Cine : "Abang, budak budak ni mcm setan semuanye ". *hahahahhahahhaha
Fat-so : Sadly, i pity her :P
End Of Discussion.
My conversation with Syafiq.
Fat-so: Glad she's gone.
Abang Handsome : mesti dia taknak ajar kitorang dah, kesian dia.
Fat-so : Huh? kisah pulak kau? ingt tkde feelings. haha
Abang Handsome : haha, irst time aku kesian kat org pulaaaak, bagi chance laa. :P
End of Discussion
On my way home, i asked my mum whether can i see Sofi before dia pergi Practical. This is what she said.
MA : kan best kakak dpt mcm ke-ustaz-an .
Kakak : Whut? -_-
Wey, i know its a good thing, but you cant force me to do everything YOUR WAY. This is just too much for me, I cant handle it, i go straight to my room, and called Sofi and cursed, he knows how i curse and how long i curse.
20090715
20090714
Dear bloggie,
I had fun YESTERDAY. I'm fucking tired TODAY. I'll do all my homeworks TOMORROW.
YESTERDAY
Ayah was fun, lepak di HolidayInn, with Auntie Jaja, and Uncle who perform there.
TODAY
I have to rush :( sbb tido lama! hehe, its a must okay kids.
TOMORROW
Sejarah , Agama and EST, and English! Favret :P
YESTERDAY
Ayah was fun, lepak di HolidayInn, with Auntie Jaja, and Uncle who perform there.
TODAY
I have to rush :( sbb tido lama! hehe, its a must okay kids.
TOMORROW
Sejarah , Agama and EST, and English! Favret :P
20090713
Watch this shit
20090711
Hipotesis minggu ini.
-lagi usha dia, lagi aku sakit hati.
-lagi ingat benda lama, lagi aku nak nangis.
-lagi aku topup, lagi aku nak contact dia.
-lagi banyak homework, lagi malas aku nak buat.
-lagi banyak orang contact aku, lagi aku nak menyendiri, sory LYY.
-lagi lama aku plan, lagi habuk aku dapat.
-lagi aku marah, lagi serabut kepala aku.
-lagi bnyk masalah, lagi aku tknak datang sekolah.
-lagi buat keje, lagi aku tak cukup tido, eventho BUKAN KERJA AKU PUN.
YA, AKU MEMANG JENIS ORANG SENANG DIKETEPIKAN, BILA DIPERLUKAN KAU AKAN SE-DESPERATE-DESPERATE-NYA MINTA PERTOLONGAN DARI AKU. APABILA KAU SENANG, KAU MENIGGALKAN AKU. KAU TIDAK KISAH AKAN APA YANG BERLAKU. SEBAB KAU DISUKAI ORANG, KAU RAMAI KAWAN.
enough said. mmg mood geram. mekaseh.
-lagi ingat benda lama, lagi aku nak nangis.
-lagi aku topup, lagi aku nak contact dia.
-lagi banyak homework, lagi malas aku nak buat.
-lagi banyak orang contact aku, lagi aku nak menyendiri, sory LYY.
-lagi lama aku plan, lagi habuk aku dapat.
-lagi aku marah, lagi serabut kepala aku.
-lagi bnyk masalah, lagi aku tknak datang sekolah.
-lagi buat keje, lagi aku tak cukup tido, eventho BUKAN KERJA AKU PUN.
YA, AKU MEMANG JENIS ORANG SENANG DIKETEPIKAN, BILA DIPERLUKAN KAU AKAN SE-DESPERATE-DESPERATE-NYA MINTA PERTOLONGAN DARI AKU. APABILA KAU SENANG, KAU MENIGGALKAN AKU. KAU TIDAK KISAH AKAN APA YANG BERLAKU. SEBAB KAU DISUKAI ORANG, KAU RAMAI KAWAN.
enough said. mmg mood geram. mekaseh.
20090710
Bila saya
Dengar lagu :
Zee Avi , Bitterheart : berangan tgh main ukulele :)
Yellow Card , Everywhere : saye akan pretend saye main drums.
Wonder Girls , Nobody : saye pun nak joget gedik gedik.
The Redjumpsuit Apparatus , Your Guardian Angel : ni saye duduk diam, sbb sedih.
The Killers , Mr Brightside : ni mmg saye ikut nyanyi same!
Taking Back Sunday , You are so last summer : saye rasa benci sgt kat orang tu.
Papa Roach ,Scars : saye pun nak rock-ish jugak :) release tension ni,
Oh Chentaku, Starlight Stalker : teringat kat AWAK !
Nickelback , Far Away : saye pretend saye nyanyi solo.
Ne-yo , Mad : menangis! :D
Ne-yo, Because of you : -,- emm
Miley Cyrus , Hoedown Throwdown : joget like the dance tutorial! :)
Meg and Dia , Going away : nyanyi sekuat hati.
Demi Lovato , Dont forget : nyanyi sekuat hati, geram.
Demi Lovato , La La Land : nyanyi sekuat hati, riang.
Arctic Monkeys , Mardy Bum : brangan main guitar solo :D haha
Jackson 5 , I'll Be there : buat suara kecik.
Souljaboy, Kiss me thru the phone : saye just nyanyi part dia give the number. haha i cant rap
Beyonce, Listen : saye miming.
Enrique, Taking back my Love : saye head bang je :)
this is my playlist in Ares.
Zee Avi , Bitterheart : berangan tgh main ukulele :)
Yellow Card , Everywhere : saye akan pretend saye main drums.
Wonder Girls , Nobody : saye pun nak joget gedik gedik.
The Redjumpsuit Apparatus , Your Guardian Angel : ni saye duduk diam, sbb sedih.
The Killers , Mr Brightside : ni mmg saye ikut nyanyi same!
Taking Back Sunday , You are so last summer : saye rasa benci sgt kat orang tu.
Papa Roach ,Scars : saye pun nak rock-ish jugak :) release tension ni,
Oh Chentaku, Starlight Stalker : teringat kat AWAK !
Nickelback , Far Away : saye pretend saye nyanyi solo.
Ne-yo , Mad : menangis! :D
Ne-yo, Because of you : -,- emm
Miley Cyrus , Hoedown Throwdown : joget like the dance tutorial! :)
Meg and Dia , Going away : nyanyi sekuat hati.
Demi Lovato , Dont forget : nyanyi sekuat hati, geram.
Demi Lovato , La La Land : nyanyi sekuat hati, riang.
Arctic Monkeys , Mardy Bum : brangan main guitar solo :D haha
Jackson 5 , I'll Be there : buat suara kecik.
Souljaboy, Kiss me thru the phone : saye just nyanyi part dia give the number. haha i cant rap
Beyonce, Listen : saye miming.
Enrique, Taking back my Love : saye head bang je :)
this is my playlist in Ares.
OVER-RATED.
OVERCOMES,OVERCOMERS,OVEREACTING, OVER-REACTORS, SO KNOWN AS DRAMA QUEENS, OVERALL, THEY SUCK.
20090709
20090708
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