getting out of the shell

Genes may play a role, but there are ways to overcome it.

"I had lots of friends, but I had no dates," Carducci, the director of the Indiana University Southeast Shyness Research Institute, said of his youth. Shyness is "something that I work at."


Recipes for shyness ,
shyness requires a sense of self — which develops only after about 18 months of age. It involves feelings of excessive self-consciousness, negative self-evaluation and negative self-preoccupation.

"Shy people operate as if thy have a mirror in front of them all the time," he told LiveScience.


A shy disposition

In a nutshell, shy people want to be outgoing and friendly, but can't seem to figure out how to do it, Carducci said.

They are also slow to "warm up" in new social situations, partly because they are so self-conscious.

"They'll go to a social function, but if they're not comfortable within 10 minutes, they'll turn and they'll run," Carducci said.

They may be social and have friends, but they tend to do the same things over and over again with the same small circle of people, rather than exposing themselves to new social situations.

Carducci points out, however, that shyness is not related to self-esteem. People can be confident in certain aspects of their lives—they may be able to give presentations in front of hundreds of people—but the thought of making small talk with a stranger might make them extremely anxious.

Don't be shy of a cure

There are a number of approaches to overcoming their shyness.

One is through relaxation training. People might try imagining themselves in different social situations while taking slow, deep breaths to keep calm.